Hellooo

Well I just felt like writing. I don't like the way my arms jiggle. The stretch marks are ugly. I know I have to love my body the way it is but I just love it more when it looks better. I saw some pics of myself when I was thinner and want to be that way again so badly. I felt so different, I was not affraid of myself. I look so unhappy in my pics where I am fat. I learned something new recently. When we take care of our bodies, we dont take care of our physical self. We take care of our soul. Because when we feel good our soul feels good. When we are happy, our soul is happy. Around 90 percent of my clothes dont fit right on me as of now. They fit me at 183 pounds, around there. I have a lot pf pretty clothes.

10/28/2007

I have gained around 22 pounds and I feel miserable. Thats what prompted me to start writing. Let me tell you about myself a bit. I am a college student and have am in process of going through a breakup, at least attempting to. I am 5"6-5"7. I weigh currently around 199 pounds. I weighed my lowest at 177 and I looked wonderful but needed to still lose around 15 pounds and I would have had a flat tummy. I had beautiful curves, small waist and big hips. My confidence sky rocketted and I had dates left and right because I stopped being that shy girl at the corner and actually started talking more. I have gained weight because I have stopped going to the gym and started binge eating again. I have had this problem since I was a child. I also started going out with a generous guy who fed me 3 square meals a day and a lot of feta chease, pasta, and cakes. Put that together with no more gym thats where you get 22 pounds. I have been in a bad mood since I gained weight. I look horrible in a bikini and my celullite is out of this world. I have saddle bags and My face is not as pretty since it is round now. My goal is to lose around 1.5 pounds a week. My ultimate goal is to be 160 pounds. My mini goals are going to be 5 pound goals. Everytime I lose 5 pounds I will celebrate by buying myself something nice. Either a pair of shoes or a nice skirt. I have a vacation booked at the end of January but it might get pushed up to end of december. I have 8 weeks until then. 1.5 pounds X 8 weeks= 187 pounds. I need to up to at least 183. I will need to work out and eat right.